We have a winner for our Cancer Awareness Giveaway. Here is her story:
I am Misty, a wife, mother, nurse, friend, and oh yeah, a 2 ½ year breast cancer survivor.
At 30 I had beautiful baby girl, toddler son, loving husband, great job… and a lump. It couldn’t possibly be cancer; I was too young and too healthy. But cancer does not discriminate against anyone and suddenly my body became my enemy and a battlefield. I underwent a mastectomy. Recovery was hard; I couldn’t lift my children and I couldn’t get used to the hard expander in my chest, holding the tissue in place so that I could have reconstructive surgery. My right arm was stiff and swollen. Then I had six months of chemotherapy. I was tired, nauseous and bald. Bald EVERYWHERE! No one tells you that you will lose your hair first in your pubic area…no more bikini razor burn! Also, no eyelashes or eyebrows. My face was swollen from steroids and covered in acne. The chemo left my finger and toes numb and I dropped things and tripped and fell. Then, to add insult to injury, it was time for radiation. I was given tattoos (black dots) on my chest to make sure I was lined up in the exact same position every day. My scarred, exposed chest was draped in a wet towel and a beam of radiation was directed at my chest daily for a month. My skin became hard and blackened.
But here is the magic. My husband. Through all of this, he loved me. He loved my body. He told me how beautiful I was. He was never turned off or afraid to touch me. I hated my body, but he never did. He even shaved his head while I was bald! I had been very comfortable in my skin before, and was getting my va-va-voom back after 4 years of pregnancy and breast feeding and then cancer took not only my breast, but also that sense of security that my body was my friend.
My skin has healed and the scars are fading, but I still struggle to embrace my new body and a changed sense of beauty. Chemo changed my hair, and while I like my new curly hair, it is still a reminder of all that has changed. I would like to see myself the way my husband sees me: beautiful and sexy. I want to see my body not as a reminder of a battle against cancer. Most importantly, I want to give my husband the gift of knowing that I am again comfortable in my skin and to show everyone show that survivors are powerful!
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