Growing up I always had that layer of “baby fat” that makes all women, who have it, self conscious. As I got older and developed as a woman though I got bigger and even more self conscious about my figure. I was the girl that the boys were always friends with but never dated.
After going through some traumatic relationships as a young adult I found someone who loves me for who I am as opposed to what I look like or could look like (if I only lost a little weight). I had finally started to come to terms with the fact that I needed to accept myself for who I was and love myself. After being together for awhile we got pregnant and had a beautiful baby boy who is now the light of our lives.
Post pregnancy though I am now going through what a ton of women do after having a baby. My body feels different and strange. Clothes don’t fit like they used to and my stomach looks completely different. I had a C-section and the scar the surgeon left has made my stomach sit lopsided and look awful. I feel like my body isn’t mine some times. I need to feel sexy again. I need to feel like a woman again and not just someone who had a baby and is now used up.
Even though I have always been a plus size girl I have always wanted boudoir photos done. I have always been to afraid to follow through with them though and I have found that not a lot of photographers have done boudoir photos with plus sized women. This has always added to my anxieties about having boudoirs done. I think that having the boudoir photos taken would be a symbol of my moving on with my life and a step towards accepting my new body and embracing my new found beauty.